Destroy the Porn (Video Game, 2013) (PC)

Synopsis
Here, you assume the role of a “super icky” young man named Joe that’s died and gone to Hell.

“Is there any way you can send me back to earth?” he pleads with the prince of darkness. “When my poor mother goes through my stuff, she is going to find a METRIC ton of porn… THESE ARE GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF PORN WE ARE TALKING ABOUT.”

The nice guy that he is, Satan relents, promising Joe one minute to (as the title suggests) destroy his stash of porn — if, and here’s a big if, he can finish Hell’s labyrinth, then beat The Beast With Nothing Better To Do at the end. Who can’t relate to this?

Review (SPOILERS)
DTP is a breezy, tongue-in-cheek, side-scrolling retro throwback developed by Drunk Devs. Whether intentionally or not (I’m guessing intentionally), it really reminds me of Metroid for the NES, insofar that you head from one room to another collecting power-ups (bouncy trousers, deathtanium armor, eternity boosters, etc.), then backtrack and use the power-ups to access rooms you couldn’t at first. It’s fun, it’s funny. It might take a half-hour to beat (and that’s if you suck), so it’s good, but too short if I had to complain.

This is you:
DTP Joe Bro

This is the title:
DTP 1

This is the porn you like:
DTP 3

This is your shotgun:
DTP 4

This is The Beast With Nothing Better To Do than try to thwart you:
DTP 5

HINTS
In case you save your progress, then come back and forget the controls (there’s no menu), J is fire and K is jump.

The Verdict
Good stuff. Download it here!

Recommendations
Metroid (Video Game, 1986)

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