The 2nd Annual Fringe Void Awards Hosted by Squidrabbit

Squidrabbit Knows All 2

Greetings, Earth humans and women. Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Squidrabbit. I used to speak in the third person. Now I don’t. I am an ancient supercreature. I come from the fifth dimension, which is actually a lot like yours, except everything smells like pumpkin spice cookies and newborn babies all the time instead of exhaust and gasoline. I’m honored to again serve as your host, this time for the Second Annual Fringe Void Awards! I was so very excited when the curator of this here website approached me to return that I hopped on the nearest pterodactyl and phased through a thin spot in the fabric of space-time that morning. No easy feat, of course, but I wouldn’t miss this for the world. I’m a huge fan of cult, horror, sci-fi, action, exploitation and sleaze movies. We don’t have them where I’m from, nothing even like them. All we get are reruns of Mighty Max and Biker Mice From Mars that we somehow intercept from your satellites. But listen to me, prattling on like a madrabbit. Let’s get these awards handed out already!

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🏆 Most Popular Posts 🏆
Posts, new or old, with the highest number of views last year.

Your winners are…

“What’s Next For the Leprechaun? Leprechaun: Origins, Vamprechaun” (1018 views)
(this high number of views can probably be attributed to my inclusion of an image from a YouTube video advertising a torrent of Leprechaun: Origins that I was unaware was actually taken from Movie 43)

Lepreprepreprepreprepreprechaun

“Nobody would have guessed in 1993 when Leprechaun came out that twenty-one years later it would still be discussed, that five more entries would follow, or that a big-budget prequel/remake produced by World Wrestling Entertainment, starring a wrestler, would be in the works. Here’s what the future holds for this shockingly still-relevant franchise.” Read the rest of the post.

9 Lives of a Wet Pussy Cat (1976)” (573 views)
9 Lives“Pauline enjoys sex. She has it with long-haired stable boys, strangers in gas station bathrooms, Nigerian princesses, and even her own father (well, kind of)! Her second favorite thing besides buggering is writing steamy letters detailing her every greasy paramour and sending them post-haste to her opium-smoking, Tarot card-reading besty, Gypsy.”
Read the rest of my review
.

Foreclosed (2013)” (441 views)
Foreclosed“Here, like Robin Williams in One Hour Photo, [Jamie Kennedy] tries his hand with a villainous role as Forrest Hayes, a rather psychotic squatter holed up in his dead mother’s house.”
Read the rest of my review
.

Boogeymen: The Killer Compilation (2001) + illustrations” (406 views)
Boogeymen“At just under an hour, Boogeymen features clips of ‘the most inhuman, grotesque, demonic, psychotic monsters ever to appear on film’, consisting entirely of movie snippets and bio pages.”
Read the rest of my review and see my crappy drawings
.

Brothers Grime X-rated Cartoons (1986)” (359 views)
Brothers GrimeBrothers Grime consists of two half-hour hentai-style shorts produced by Excalibur Films: Search For Uranus and Gonad the Barbarian.”
Read the rest of my review
.

Through the Looking Glass (1976)” (336 views)
Through the Looking Glass“It’s not uncommon for dignified country clubber Catherine Burgess (played by Catharine Burgess, with an a) to wander off, neglecting her family for hours, to slink upstairs n’ give herself a go in front of an antique mirror. She’s not all there, posing questions to herself, then answering like someone else.”
Read the rest of my review
.

Sonic.EXE (Video Game, 2012) (PC)” (271 views)
Sonic EXESonic.EXE is a fan-made parody game based on a short story authored by web user JC-the-Hyena, which, in turn, was most likely inspired by The Ring. Its premise involves the existence of ‘hacked’ copies of Sonic the Hedgehog circulating on disk which kill their players, but not before scaring them shitless with creepy images of an evil Sonic, hissing static, reversed music and 8-bit screams. This is one of those copies.”
Read the rest of my review
.

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988)” (204 views)
Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers“Los Angeles, California. Something has been ‘chewing up the local citizenry and spitting little bitty pieces all over.’ Private eye Jack Chandler intends on finding out what… He stumbles upon an ancient chainsaw-worshipping cult that requires human sacrifice to achieve immortality.”
Read the rest of my review
.

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🏆 Fringe Void’s Picks 🏆
These aren’t necessarily movies that came out last year (in fact, none of them are). These are movies I reviewed last year that I really enjoyed, that stayed with me after I watched them, and that I recommend to you readers for maximum entertainment!

Your winners are…

Evil Cat (1987)
Director: Dennis Yu, Country: Hong Kong
Evil Cat“For eight generations, members of Cheung’s family have gone to war with the same nefarious humanoid cat, sealing it up in a bottomless pit with Mao Shan (Chinese sorcery). Every fifty years, it breaks out to possess people and wreak general havoc. Now, the cat’s out of the bag (or should I say “hole”?) for a ninth and final time (you know, cos they’ve got nine lives) when a group of construction workers removes the lid, unleashing its magical blue essence onto an unsuspecting late-80s Hong Kong.”
Read the rest of my review
.

The Imp (1981)
Director: Dennis Yu, Country: Hong Kong
The Imp“Chronically-unemployed father to be, Cheung, Chung or Keung (spelled variously throughout), his wife and their unborn baby are targeted by a series of paranormal attacks shortly after he takes a job as a night watchman at a shopping mall.”
Read the rest of my review
.

Sweet Home (1989)
Director: Kiyoshi Kurosawa, Country: Japan
Sweet Home “TV producer Kazuo, his daughter Emi, reporter Asuka, art preserver Akiko and all-purpose chauffeur/camera guy Taguchi negotiate the keys to an old mansion they don’t know is haunted so they can restore a long-lost fresco, as well as shoot footage for a documentary on it.”
Read the rest of my review
.

VigasioSexploitation Vol. 2 (2011)
Director: Sabastiano Montresor, Country: Italy
VigasioSex Vol 2 “Earth year 2022. A pig-tailed girl with tape across her nips that’s dressed like an 80s leather bar-frequenting gay man named Osso escapes prison. Skipping down a dirt road, she’s psychokinetically frozen by a boobed Grim Reaper and told to become the leader of an invisible motorcycle gang. Then, she grows a handlebar moustache.”
Read the rest of my review
.

Tainted Milk (2009)
Director: Jimmy ScreamerClauz, Country: United States
Tainted Milk “A young boy named Tommy is told by a neighbor’s dog (think ‘Son of Sam’ David Berkowitz) to assist in killing his family. ‘God sent me to tell you that the child living inside your mother is the Antichrist.’ Labby the black lab elaborates.”
Read the rest of my review
.

U.F.O. Abduction (1989)
Director: Dean Alioto, Country: United States
UFO Abduction title “On the evening of October 8, 1983, a young man was videotaping his niece’s fifth birthday party. As the night’s strange occurrences took place, he kept his video camera running, recording the entire event.”
Read the rest of my review
.

Blood (1974)
Director: Andy Milligan, Country: United States
Blood 8“[A Dr.] Orlofski beckons for his offscreen servants to rush his wife… in from a side door. She’s wrapped head to toe in black fabric, and, it’s revealed, is overdue for her weekly injection of something or other. We get a quick look at her face here; she’s literally a rotting corpse.”
Read the rest of my review
.

Blood Shack (1971)
Director: Ray Dennis Steckler, Country: United States
Blood Shack 2 “Three youths, two guys and a girl in a striped Freddy Krueger shirt, pull up to an old, abandoned shack on a barren stretch of desert. Off to the side, a bare-chested desertbilly named Daniel, self-proclaimed caretaker of the property, looks on, propped against a shovel. The girl in the striped shirt explains to her friends that an ‘old Indian ghost’… haunts the run-down dump before them. She makes it clear she intends to spend the night, viewing the act as a ‘challenge’.”
Read the rest of my review
.

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🏆 Bloodiest 🏆 Most Disturbing 🏆
Just that. The bloodiest and most disturbing movies I reviewed last year. These awards have been lumped together this time because they’re going to the same movie anyway.

Both these awards go to…

Tainted Milk (2009)
Director: Jimmy ScreamerClauz, Country: United States
Tainted Milk “A young boy named Tommy is told by a neighbor’s dog (think ‘Son of Sam’ David Berkowitz) to assist in killing his family. ‘God sent me to tell you that the child living inside your mother is the Antichrist.’ Labby the black lab elaborates.”
Read the rest of my review
.

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🏆 Worst 🏆
You know when you fart and it smells like putrefied eggs, and your eyes water a little? That’s this. The absolute worst, most unenjoyable movie I reviewed last year.

Your loser is…

Urban Flesh (1999)
Director: Alexandre Michaud, Country: Canada
Urban Flesh“Chaos arises when a group of cannibal killers blitzes through Montreal, eh. The city’s only hope is a mustached detective who looks like 70s wrestler ‘Superstar’ Billy Graham. Does he have what it takes?”
Read the rest of my review
.

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And that brings our show to a close. Thanks for tuning in, folks. We’ve had a blast for the last twelve months, but once again it’s time to rewind another year, press eject and place it back on the VHS rack of life. Where will this New Year take us? What can we hope to expect from 2015? Well, to be honest, it probably won’t be a whole lot different than 2014, which was actually a lot like 2013, and 2012 before that. But rest assured, the mysterious author of this blog has some quality content lined up. ‘Til next time. Rock on, humans! Now put your hands together for Sleep!

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