Archive for the Horror Category

“Satan’s Blade” (1984) — “That’s the one about the mountain man whose spirit still roams through these hills!”

Posted in 1980s, Haunting/Possession, Horror, Slasher with tags , , , , on October 17, 2015 by Fringe Void

Directed by L. Scott Castillo, Jr.

A knife is thrown from off-screen. It sticks in a tree, then pulses red to signify, I don’t know, it’s possessed or something. Opening credits.

Satan's Blade 1 Continue reading

Clownhouse (1989)

Posted in 1980s, Clown, Horror with tags , , , , , on March 25, 2015 by Fringe Void

Sorry, I died there for a month and a half…

Directed by Victor Salva

Like most kids from my generation who grew up hearing stories of John Wayne Gacy, or having seen Tommy Lee Wallace’s sterling two-part adaptation of Stephen King’s It, young Casey is terrified of clowns.

Clownhouse begins in a fairly predictable way — with a nightmare. Casey is dazedly wandering around his huge Hollywood home (Godfather director Francis Ford Coppola’s home) in that signature, half-conscious being beckoned by an invisible force kind of way horror characters tend to. The storm outside blows an illustration of an angry clown against his window. He pees himself, then wakes up in a sweat. Continue reading

“Tiktik: The Aswang Chronicles” (2012) Will Leave You Clamoring For More Dingdong

Posted in 2010s, Action, Aswang, Horror with tags , , , , , , on February 11, 2015 by Fringe Void

Directed by Erik Matti

Impudent, cocksure Makoy (Filipino heartthrob Dingdong “Yeah, That’s His Name” Dantes) rides a motorized tricycle from Manila to his pregnant ex-girlfriend Sonia (Lovi Poe, in at least her second Aswang movie)’s parents’ house in the sticks of Pulupandan to apologize for a falling out (it’s mentioned that porcelain was smashed; I assume dishes were thrown). Sonia’s mother answers the door. “Go on, fuck off, you ass.” she admonishes. Sonia comes to the door and gives her repentant babydaddy the what-for as well. “I can the child raise without you.” she states. “You’re such an asshole.” Makoy begs her to return home with him.

She refuses. Continue reading

I’m Sure There’s a Yakov Smirnoff Joke to be Made Here Somewhere — “Viy” (1967)

Posted in 1960s, Haunting/Possession, Horror with tags , , , , , , , , on February 6, 2015 by Fringe Void

Directed by Konstantin Yershov, Georgi Kropachyov

Three monks, an orator, a philosopher, and a theologian, get lost in the Ukrainian countryside trekking home from their monastery. They come to a farmhouse. They bang on the gate. An elderly woman (played by a man, I believe) shambles out from inside. “Have mercy on us, my good woman!” the men of faith plead. “It’s unforgivable to let Christian souls perish in the night.” The “old skinflint”, as they rudely refer to her to her face, acquiesces. Her room, she claims, is limited, so the philosopher, Khoma Brutus, is sent to sleep in her cow stalls. Continue reading

Your Preconceived Opinions Will Be Chooped to Bits the Minute You Step Foot in Ray Dennis Steckler’s “Blood Shack” (1971)

Posted in 1970s, Haunting/Possession, Horror, Slasher with tags , , , , , , , on December 5, 2014 by Fringe Void

Directed by Wolfgang Schmidt

The setting sun reflects off a zooming camera lens, a kaleidoscopic effect. A character we’re introduced to later on breathes a few lines of voiceover narration, setting the stage for this I-guess-supernatural slasher. “There is a legend about this valley, a tale carried across the winds of time. A legend strange and sinister. The legend of the Chooper.” And no, that’s not a typo on my part, nor is it a mispronunciation. Continue reading

Happy Thanksgiving, Here’s Your Turkey — “See No Evil 2” (2014)

Posted in 2010s, Horror, Slasher with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on November 27, 2014 by Fringe Void

Directed by Jen & Sylvia Soska

It’s morgue attendant Amy’s (Danielle Harris, Hatchet 2 & 3) birthday, but her and her co-worker Seth, who carry flames for each other, are stuck preparing a rush of bodies, specifically the victims from the first movie. Reports of a massacre, carried out by the “God’s Hand Killer”, so called by the press because of religious imagery and quotes and what-not found at the scene of his killing spree, play from their boss’ laptop, but nobody pays much attention.

Cut to the back of an ambulance. Paramedics are fighting to revive that killer, Jacob Goodnight (chokeslamming wrestler Glenn “Kane” Jacobs). One of them asks out loud what they’re all thinking, “Do we really want to save this guy?” And then, the sight of an EKG machine flatlining. Continue reading

Boring Title, Bad Movie, Plenty of Fun — Andy Milligan’s “Blood” (1974)

Posted in 1970s, Exploitation, Horror, Vampire, Werewolf with tags , , , , , on November 26, 2014 by Fringe Void

Directed by Andy Milligan

The opening credits roll and we’re introduced to a couple of men who look like they’ve stepped out of a Sherlock Holmes novel. One of them, Markham, is showing a house to the other, a Dr. Lawrence Orlofski. Markham notes how the premises would be great for gardening, to which Orlofski replies, “My wife doesn’t like the daylight hours. Rather, I should say daylight doesn’t agree with her. She has trouble with the pigmentation of her skin. Direct sunlight would be poison for her. As a matter of fact, more than five minutes of sunlight could possibly kill her. So you see, she’ll be doing very little gardening, I’m afraid. Nor shall I, for that matter, as my experiments occupy most of my daylight hours.” Orlofski proceeds to be very curt with the man, refusing a tour of the property, as well as a dinner invitation. He takes the house, then practically shoves Markham out the front door as he hands over a check for the first three months’ worth of rent, stating, “Please do not come here when the rent is due again, I shall send it to you before it is due… Good day.” Well. The rude bastard!

As soon as Markham has left, Orlofski beckons for his offscreen servants to rush his wife with the aforementioned sunlight aversion, Regina, in from a side door. She’s wrapped head to toe in black fabric, and, it’s revealed, is overdue for her weekly injection of something or other. We get a quick look at her face here; she’s literally a rotting corpse. Continue reading

Leprechaun: Origins (2014)

Posted in 2010s, Creature Feature/Nature, Horror, Tiny Things Kill People with tags , , , , , on October 17, 2014 by Fringe Void

Directed by Zach Lipovsky

We meet up with four college kids, led by a history major, at the last stop of their backpacking trip through Ireland. They’re dropped off at the outskirts of a small, remote village by a local who ominously refuses to go any further. Our privileged white sightseers pay no mind, footing the rest of the way to a pub, where a man by the name of Hamish suggests, if it’s real Irish history they’re after, they check out the Clocha de na Deithe, or Stones of the Gods, the oldest existing artifacts in all of Ireland. Our heroes agree. The stones are a seven-hour hike away, but Hamish and his son are more than happy to drive them partway there and let them stay in their — get this — cabin in the woods.

Now, it’s clear from the fifteen-minute mark Hamish is luring these hapless lovers of history into a trap, or at least concealing one of those terrible small-town secrets you hear about, eerily noting his town likes to keep things “private”, wearing a Rolex, yet boo-hooing of money troubles, and, well, everything short of the ol’ shifty eyes.

It’s later revealed the people of Hamish’s town unwittingly mined all the gold from a leprechaun’s treasure cave many years back. And now, it’s pissed off. If they don’t make amends to the horrid little thing by leaving it periodic offerings, like wristwatches, and tourists, it ventures in from the woods — to kill! Will our heroes survive the set-up? Continue reading

Gingerdead Man Vs. Evil Bong (2013)

Posted in 2010s, Crossover, Farce, Horror, Tiny Things Kill People with tags , , , , on October 9, 2014 by Fringe Void

And now, the final, pint-sized piece of this pastry puzzle! I wish I could say that I’ve seen the Evil Bong movies, but I can’t, so I’ll just review this like it was another Gingerdead sequel.

Mania Banner Gingerdead Man

Directed by Charles Band

Somewhere far away, on a tropical island paradise, the Gingerdead Man is attended to and fawned over by a harem of topless, big-breasted womenfolk.

“If it weren’t for that stupid floozy (referring to heroine Sarah Leigh) at that bakery who turned me into this [cookie], I’d be blowin’ custard all over all three’a ya.” the sugary psycho laments (if anything, he should blame his mama — she’s the one that mixed his ashes with all that gingerbread seasoning and left it for Sarah to bake up at her bakery at the start of the first movie). “It’s high time that I find that gal and cut her down to size.” Continue reading

U.F.O. Abduction (1989)

Posted in 1980s, Alien Abduction, Found Footage, Horror, Sci-Fi with tags , , , on October 4, 2014 by Fringe Void

Directed by Dean Alioto

A pair of title cards allege “The uncut video footage [we] are about to see contains the most important evidence yet made public regarding [the UFO] phenomenon… On the evening of October 8, 1983, a young man was videotaping his niece’s fifth birthday party. As the night’s strange occurrences took place, he kept his video camera running, recording the entire event.”

The young man in question is sixteen-year-old Mike Van Heese (director Alioto). His footage begins at the dinner table where he, his two older brothers, their girlfriends, his mom and the five-year-old niece alluded to in the titles appear to have just finished eating. Cake is brought in, the birthday girl blows on her candles, and out cuts the power.

While checking their fuse box, the brothers Van Heese see a blinding red light by the ol’ Johnson house. “Let’s go check it out.” one suggests. Continue reading

Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver (2011)

Posted in 2010s, Farce, Horror, Tiny Things Kill People with tags , , , on October 3, 2014 by Fringe Void

Mania Banner Gingerdead Man

Directed by William Butler

At some point, the Gingerdead Man was apparently apprehended and locked away in the Scientific Research Institute For the Study of Homicidal Baked Goods with (as the title of the facility suggests), other homicidal baked goods, including a loaf of French bread, a sexy pie, a Jamaican pot brownie, and a cream puff. Yes, there are more of these things.

Well, on a dark and windy night, a lass by the name of Clarissa Darling pays the “crumby little bastard” a visit, claiming to have been sent by the FBI to assemble a case study on him, determine which ingredients drive him to kill, and so forth. If he cooperates, she informs him, the DA will cut him a deal by facilitating his transfer to every baked goods’ dream — Candy Land Island maximum security prison. Before ol’ Gingy can respond, a militant group of confused animal activists breaks in, mistakes him for a Capuchin monkey, and liberates him from his cell. In the chaos that follows, Clarissa reveals she’s actually Millard Findlemeyer’s sister, and vows to exact revenge on the cookie she says possessed her homeless brother and made him take his own life all those years ago. Continue reading

Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust (2008)

Posted in 2000s, Farce, Horror, Tiny Things Kill People with tags , , , , , , on September 28, 2014 by Fringe Void

Mania Banner Gingerdead Man

Directed by Silvia St. Croix

The Gingerdead Man arrives in a pastry box at a flagging Z-movie studio, Cheatum International, on the set of their latest killer puppet flick, Tiny Terrors 9: Purgatory of the Petit. The only explanation as to why the GM was sent there — or alive, for that matter — is given by caterer Polly (Michelle Bauer in a wig), who claims her sister mailed the cookie to her from Texas. Minutes later, amidst the chaos of another bungled shoot, the Gingerdead Man sets to work.

“I’ve gotta get rid of this cookie body, I’m getting stale.” he mumbles to himself. “Now, how do I transfer my soul to a new host?”

Bingo! While skimming through a faux Satanic text in a prop room, he comes across a transmigration (soul-to-body transference) spell that informs him all he’ll have to do is kill five people, sprinkle their blood on the points of a pentagram and sacrifice a virgin. Continue reading

The Gingerdead Man (2005)

Posted in 2000s, Farce, Horror, Tiny Things Kill People with tags , , , , , , on September 17, 2014 by Fringe Void

We’re all familiar with the fairy tale about the gingerbread boy that flees its bakers, either by way of Shrek, the children’s parody book The Stinky Cheese Man, or even this short story from 1875. Of course, if the events of that story ever actually came to pass, you’d probably try to catch the cookie too, and make it your pet, or sell it for a huge sum of money. I mean, c’mon — a talking cookie? How cool would that be?

But what if something more sinister burst forth from your oven? What if, instead of a harmless gingerbread boy, a deadly misfortune cookie with a chocolate chip on its shoulder popped out and broke all your loved ones like eggs? What then? What would you do?! Take a moment to think about that as we kick off…

Mania Banner Gingerdead Man

Directed by Charles Band

Two years ago, Sarah’s brother and father were senselessly stabbed and gunned down, respectively, by serial killer Millard Findlemeyer (the always, uh, let’s say “eccentric” Gary Busey). If that wasn’t bad enough, Sarah’s mother now copes with the loss by imbibing beers, and their family bakery might be driven out of business by a rival chain that’s opened just down the street.

Newspaper clippings indicate Sarah’s testimony was key in earning her family’s attacker a trip to the chair. “I’ll get you for this, even from beyond the grave…” Findlemeyer vows. Well, if you’ve ever watched a horror movie, you know where this is going. Continue reading

Short: Tainted Milk (2009)

Posted in 2000s, Animated, Horror with tags , , , , , on July 10, 2014 by Fringe Void

Directed by Jimmy ScreamerClauz

A young boy named Tommy is told by a neighbor’s dog (think “Son of Sam” David Berkowitz) to assist in killing his family. “God sent me to tell you that the child living inside your mother is the Antichrist.” Labby the black lab elaborates. “Babies drink from their mothers’ breasts, and breasts only have enough of God’s milk to feed one baby… When the second child comes, the milk becomes tainted… [Shadow men] sneak into the lady’s tummy and take over the newly created fetus, turning it evil.” Continue reading

Killjoy Goes to Hell (2012)

Posted in 2010s, Farce, Horror with tags , , , , , on July 2, 2014 by Fringe Void

Mania Banner Killjoy [alt]

Directed by John Lechago

Three years post-Killjoy’s Revenge, the titular “king of the trickster gods” is forcibly dragged back to Hell (an asteroid belt orbiting earth’s molten core) and charged with a general lack of evil doery by his fellow hellspawn. “Remember, you’re on trial for being too much of a softy. You’re mushy, ineffective, uncommitted and impotent.” he’s told. Prosecuting him is none other than one of his old flames, the spurned and vivacious DA (Devil’s Advocate), with mild-mannered Satan himself acting as judge, jury and executioner.

Killjoy’s only hope is the bumbling Skid Mark, a fledgling clown defense attorney. Together, they re-summon Punchy, Freakshow and Batty Boop from the previous film as witnesses. Unfortunately, their testimony isn’t enough, so the five-some hatch a plan to spring Sandy, Killjoy’s only surviving witness, from the psych ward in which she mindlessly chuckles away. Will she be willing to vouch for Killjoy’s wicked ways before he and his legacy are forever stricken from the record? Continue reading

Killjoy’s Revenge (2010)

Posted in 2010s, Horror with tags , , , , , , on June 13, 2014 by Fringe Void

Mania Banner Killjoy [alt]

Directed by John Lechago

Our story begins with an older, unnamed Professor hiring an occultist-hermit type to raise Killjoy. The occultist-hermit cuts the professor’s hands, stating, “The beast requires flesh to become flesh. Your blood will be his price.” Killjoy appears, and cuts the guy’s hands even more, barking, “I need more… I need a posse!” using the blood to birth a trio of minions — Punchy the Carny-speaking hobo clown, Freakshow the mime and Batty Boop the naked, body-painted succubus. While Killjoy’s back is turned, the Professor slinks away without naming a victim, forcing the demon clowns to retreat back to Hell.

Cut to the Professor’s house. Police have broken up a rauceous party house-sitter Sandie threw for half her college. The next morning, boyfriend Rojer steps out to fetch the paper and finds a big sack on the porch. When Sandie and Rojer’s best friends Zilla and Erica stop by later, curiosity gets the better of them. They open it. My god, there’s an old-timey mirror inside! Feeling free to decorate a house that’s not theirs, they hang it up on the wall.

What they don’t know is: whoever gazes into the mirror will be whisked away to Killjoy’s nightmare realm. Continue reading

Killjoy 2: Deliverance From Evil (2002)

Posted in 2000s, Horror with tags , , , , , , on June 6, 2014 by Fringe Void

Mania Banner Killjoy [alt]

Directed by Tammi Sutton

A group of teenage criminals (made up of thirty-year-olds) is chaperoned by Lt. Redding and Officer Martinez (scream queen Debbie Rochon) to a place called Loxahatchee Canyon to renovate a youth center as punishment for whatever they did. Expectedly, partway through their two-hundred mile trip, they encounter engine trouble. Right, so, the girls stay back while the guys walk off to get help. When no one answers the door of the first house they come to, a guy named Ray-Ray takes it upon himself to break in. Big mistake. Once inside, he startles a “Crazy in Alabama bitch”, earning a shotgun blast to the chest. Unamused, Lt. Redding shoots the woman point blank in her face, even though she was super within her rights to protect her property.

After that, Redding gets lost (which is good, cos he’s most likely facing a prison sentence). Criminals 1 and 2 assist wounded Ray-Ray back to the van, meet up with the chicks, and the whole lot sets out for more help. This time, they break into a mystic’s house. Luckily, she’s more inviting, offering to perform Voodoo rituals on Ray-Ray to heal his wounds. As our characters wax poetic of black magic, one of the girls recalls a story she heard as a kid — the first film’s story. Later, a Nic (Ray-Ray’s best friend) tells her to “Conjure up that fool Killjoy.” Which she does, no questions asked. Why exactly this Nic guy believes an evil, murdering clown will save his homeboy’s life is a mystery, but Killjoy answers their call regardless — with senseless, comic violence! Continue reading

Killjoy (2000)

Posted in 2000s, Horror with tags , , , on June 3, 2014 by Fringe Void

I’ve been looking to review more series, so here goes with a piece on the first installment of a hokey franchise some might find to be of a similar stock as the Leprechaun films I covered back in March and April. Enjoy.

Mania Banner Killjoy [alt]

Directed by Craig Ross

Loner Michael is beaten up for getting too close to a street thug’s girl. Humiliated but not defeated, Michael performs a black magic ritual on a clown doll in attempts to summon a real-life version for bloody revenge. “By the power invested in me, I bring forth Killjoy… Come alive, Killjoy! Come alive!” he chants. Before he can finish his ceremony, the same wanksters from earlier show up, grab Michael and drive him to a secluded location. “How many times I done told you to stay away from my girl, man? Huh?” Leader Lorenzo asks. “So many damn times I lost count.” Frustrated, Lorenzo whips out a gun, pulls the trigger and— nothing. Sigh of relief. While Michael cries like a punk-ass buster, Lorenzo explains he was putting the scare in him. He says his gun isn’t loaded. Seconds later, it turns out it was when it accidentally goes off, killing Michael. Continue reading

Short: Night of the Hell Hamsters (2006)

Posted in 2000s, Creature Feature/Nature, Haunting/Possession, Horror, Tiny Things Kill People with tags , , , on May 22, 2014 by Fringe Void

Directed by Paul Campion

It’s a dark and stormy night. Karl shows up to visit his babysitter girlfriend Julie on the job, slyly forgetting to bring the Ouija board she asked for, muttering something like, “Maybe you can play with me instead, gyuh hyuh hyuh.” Suggestive eyebrows. Unimpressed, Julie makes due with a toddler’s alphabet game and a shot glass. Even though she’s a fan of horror movies, and one would presume that she knows better, nothing bad could possibly happen, right? Well, no. In going along with his lady friend’s ill-advised divination to maybe score sex, Karl calls out to the made-up name Spozgar. Unbelievably, an evil spirit named Spozgar exists, and decides to possess the pet hamsters, morphing them into an evil pair of testicle-biting beasties! Can Julie, her beau and the baby they seemingly couldn’t give two fucks about that’s never shown onscreen survive the Night of the Hell Hamsters? Continue reading

Sweet Home (1989)

Posted in 1980s, Haunting/Possession, Horror with tags , , , on April 30, 2014 by Fringe Void

Directed by Kiyoshi Kurosawa

TV producer Kazuo, his daughter Emi, reporter Asuka, art preserver Akiko and all-purpose chauffeur/camera guy Taguchi negotiate the keys to an old mansion they don’t know is haunted so they can restore a long-lost fresco, as well as shoot footage for a documentary on it.

“Thirty years ago, the genius artist, Ichirou Mamiya, died here.” Asuka states. “Since then, the Mamiya family had no one take over the house. For 30 years, no one has entered this mansion.” Continue reading